Have No Fear, the Proposal Details are Right Here. ;)

I realize that my last post ended with a promise to release consecutive installments in my new series on women and the identity crisis contagion, but since that series is temporarily on hold, this post is about something else! :D

Several of my friends and family members have expressed a dire interest in hearing all the details regarding the proposal I received last night from my precious fiancé (oooooh, that's a fun new vocabulary word that I am definitely going to enjoy using!), Mark - therefore, I'm going to indulge you all in this post by giving you the sweet deets! ;)

So, the whole story kicks off last weekend, really. Mark lives in Baton Rouge, LA and he came to Texas to visit me for the weekend. He was acting nervously before he left, and just before driving off he expressed to me that he "just needed to get through next weekend and he would be okay". I looked at him funny because I thought that was an odd statement, and he kinda smacked himself and started mumbling about "saying too much". I told him to shut up and not say anything else and let it go, haha, but of course, it planted a seed in my mind wondering if he was planning to propose the following weekend when I was coming with my parents to visit him and his family. 

I was visiting with my BFF, Chelsea, later in the week, and she mentioned she had the whole next weekend off work so I invited her to come along on the trip to LA. I even told her I thought that maybe Mark was going to propose. When my parents were unable to make the trip at the last minute due to some conflicts with work, Chelsea and I made the trip alone. We arrived very late Friday night and Mark met us at our hotel and treated us to a very deliriously goofy and memorable dinner at Waffle House. Mark kept giving me these impossibly huge grins, hugging me spontaneously, telling me how much he loved me and how excited he was to have me there; but given that's not atypical behavior for him, I didn't think it reason enough to solidly suspect a proposal and continued to file it away as a mere possibility.

The next morning Chelsea and I took our time getting presentable, and "just in case" the day would result in something special, I took extra time on my hair and make-up. We were due to have a BBQ lunch at Mark's parents' house, but when we made it over there it still wasn't ready. Besides this, there was nothing unusual going on like an ungodly amount of cars parked around the neighborhood, no one was acting strangely, and nothing stuck out as further reason to suspect anything, so I let my guard down a little more. We relaxed and visited together, eventually ate lunch, and played a game of dice (the Goodson family game of choice) once Mark's sister and her boyfriend arrived. Throughout the whole of the day I was continuously wondering in the very back of my mind whether I was right or wrong to expect a proposal this weekend, but wanting to feel relaxed rather than tense, I chose not to worry myself over it anymore. I just wanted to enjoy this time, and whether or not a proposal actually came of it was really not important.

Later in the evening, Mark took Chelsea and I to downtown Baton Rouge to meet up with his best friend, Ory, and his lovely wife, Brianne for a nice dinner. We had been informed by Mark that morning to "dress casual nice" for the occasion, and being unable to tell if that was a good omen or not, I again didn't want to read anything into it just in case I was wrong. I don't like getting my hopes up and having them dashed upon the rocks of reality, so I was trying my best to avoid such disappointment by overthinking every single thing that was taking place. 

As we were walking the long distance from the car to the restaurant, however, it started to rain. Irritated by this since I had taken such care to look nice, I started to get a little grumpy. I was also way past the point of just being "hungry", and I was very near the place called "hangry", in which I am no longer responsible for anything I say spoken out of fierce and desperate hunger. To make matters worse, I kept getting kamikaze raindrops square in the eyeball, the humidity was having the same effect on my hair as licking my finger and sticking it into an electric socket would have done, and my calves were stinging from the effort of half-running to keep up with my party whilst simultaneously trying not to lose my flip-flops like Cinderella as we hightailed it up the block. As we got closer, the rain started coming down harder, and by the time we made it to the door, we were pretty frizzy and bespeckled with rain. I'd ditched my flip-flops completely and had just run the home stretch barefoot; classy, ya'll. 

But alas, I was bound and determined to not let the less-than-desirable circumstances bedraggle my spirits like they had my hair, so I focused on the company and drinking five glasses of ice water before our food finally came. The meal was one of the best I've ever had, and I was so distracted by the deliciousness of it, I almost didn't notice how Mark and Ory kept discreetly messing around on their phones under the table. But Brianne and Chelsea flawlessly lulled me into conversation after conversation, and I didn't get much opportunity to turn such details over in my mind in those moments. Following dessert, the guys picked up the checks and we started to make plans to go elsewhere to hang out for awhile longer, and still no proposal. At this point, I was starting to feel okay about there maybe not being one that night because I now felt like I looked less like a person and more like a homeless cat with a severe case of mange. 

But again, not wanting to rain on anybody's parade (pun?), I kept my selfish and petty complaints to myself as an inner-monologue and took it all in stride, qualifying the whole ordeal as an adventure. Because honestly, things could have been SO much worse, and I wasn't going to let a stupid little ol' thunderstorm ruin a perfectly good night out on the town with dear friends and a sweet boyfriend I rarely got to see. 

We eventually made it back to our vehicle, after a fruitless attempt to find a place downtown to continue our shenanigans, and we maneuvered out of the over-priced parking garage hoping to avoid the traffic from a nearby Haunted House attraction and any lingering LSU fans. But much to Mark's dismay, we found ourselves on the wrong road and had to take a looooong detour to get where we were going. By the time we made it there, Chelsea had survived a series of potential heart attacks trying to protect her Michael Kors handbag from the rain combined with multiple near-death experiences with roadside water, Mark was elated at having quickly found a parking spot that didn't require climbing into the stratosphere or forking out two day's worth of lunch money, and I was overstuffed from dinner, had to pee like a pregger, and was getting increasingly cold and sleepy which rarely fares well for my mood.

We got out of the car and realized we were several blocks away from our destination, which of course meant several blocks' worth of rainwater down the backs of our necks and buttcracks. Regardless, Mark ushered us onward and we wove our way past shop after shop until at last we reached the lounge we'd decided on. Ory and Brianne were already there, having driven separately, and they had parked nice and close and had little to show for the rain. We, on the other hand, were all but drenched. The lounge was cold and loud, and I felt like a mostly-drowned rat, which left me feeling not-very-proposal-worthy and intensely wishing for a fresh pair of sweatpants and a roaring fireplace, but I was still very glad to be in the presence of friends and therefore able to see the fun in the situation. 

 We hadn't been there long and Mark handed his camera to Ory and asked him to take a picture of the two of us. He sat down next to me and put his arm around me; I smiled at the camera and kept waiting for the flash or for Ory to at least put the camera down, but he just continued holding it there...and holding it there....and holding it there. 

Then Mark started rubbing my arm, almost like a nervous gesture. He said, "Amber", and just let it hang in the air for a minute. As it did so, I realized that he had said it kind of loudly, and there was a note of deliberate meaning and formality there that was definitely not normal, which caused me to turn and look at him. He was closed-mouth smiling at me, a habit of his that puts his insecurity and vulnerability on display, and he just kept rubbing my arm like that was the only way to stay anchored in his courage - and I instantly knew that something was obviously going on. All at once, I realized several other things, too - Ory's camera was still pointed at me, and repetitive flashes were coming from the direction of Brianne. Out of my peripheral, I saw Mark's hand in his lap and that it was closed tight in a fist like he was clutching something tiny. And that smile...that was a very anticipatory smile. 

I felt a flutter in my stomach and knew this had to be it. 

But it was happening so fast - just like those camera flashes - and I couldn't even begin to register the reality of what was occurring. One second Mark and I were posing for a simple picture, the next he was asking me to marry him, then he was on his knee holding a ring, and then I was just sitting there - staring in disbelief at it. I saw it, I knew what I was seeing, I knew what it meant, but it was like a mirage. 

I guess I had dreamed of this moment so many times throughout my life that this just couldn't have possibly been real. I kept waiting for something else to happen - for people to start crowding around or whooping or something crazy to draw attention to the fact that this was a huge deal - but there was just the flash of Brianne's phone camera. It was all so subtle, so sweet, intimate, and delicate. It felt so natural and easy, just like if he had asked me if I wanted a sip of his soda or something. I literally couldn't believe that such an enormous, life-altering moment could feel so simple as that, and so I was just sitting there. Waiting for the weight of it all to sink it. 

But it didn't. I waited, and nothing. 

It was that surreal. It felt like any other moment. It was so easy, so...us. 

I actually, literally FORGOT that I needed to give Mark an answer, and I just stuck my finger out. He had to prod me for it, and I just started laughing and squeaked out a "yes!".

The moments after that are a total blur. I know there were comments made left and right within our little group, and I remember realizing that nobody in the entire lounge even noticed what was going on! We had a very private party right there in our own little alcove under everyone's noses, and it was blissful. There were more pictures, and Mark immediately launched into telling me all the hidden details that had gone on in secret that I'd completely missed, and it was revealed to me how all the planning went down and how everyone, including Chelsea, who very smoothly fooled me into thinking she had absolutely no inside access, knew about it or was involved somehow. They explained to me how they had been forced to improvise because of the weather, being that the original plan had been for Mark to ask me on the levy downtown. Ory had gotten the whole proposal on video, and Brianne had photographed all the key moments. Chelsea watched and tried not to cry. ;)

I think Mark's favorite part of the whole thing was when I asked him if the ring was real and then realized it was the one I had shown him online and told him I really liked, haha!

After we left the lounge, Mark and I made a couple of stops to show the ring to his parents, his brother and sister-in-law, and even his sister and her boyfriend lucked out and unexpectedly got to see it. They were all so excited and loving, encouraging us and congratulating us and making it all feel that much more memorable and endearing, and for me, making it feel more real. 

The following morning, Chelsea and I went to church with Mark and his family, and Mark was able to make a formal announcement after the service about the engagement. The pastor asked us to wait in the foyer afterward and members of the church body congratulated us as they left, which was very heartwarming and definitely a memory we'll always treasure.

So even though everything didn't go exactly as planned, and even though the scenario wasn't exactly ideal, we all agreed that at least we'd have a fun story to tell later on. And I can't deny how very true that turned out to be!